The Vegans Are Coming To Get Me!

I just reread my posts on this blog.

I'm actually really funny. No, like really. I am.

Okay okay, entertaining... better?

so anyway, ya'll missed A LOT. I haven't blogged in 2 years!

Anyway, I'm not going to try and catch anyone up... I went to London, back in CT again, got my heart broken (again, and by the same douche from a few years ago. Side note: if you think people 'grow up' and grow into their emotions or any of that, you're mistaken. They're just older versions of their stupid, emotionally-zygotic selves.... or at least THIS particular tosser is...)

ANNNYYHOO, so I've decided to try becoming a vegan. Actually, I'm using this term loosely cos actually, i just want to be vegetarian. i.e. just cut out meat and poultry from my diet.

but then there's the issue of NO CHOCOLATE (EVER!!!), like... no more coffee shop cakes, no bloody cheese cake and (breathe out) no sushi.

So then, I'm like... okay I'll be a Pescatarian (which I thought was a denomination of the catholic church but actually, is a vegetarian who eats fish.)

But THEN, I made the fatal mistake of mentioning all of this on twitter.

So then, like 30 seconds later, I have like 12 new followers (and I base my self worth on how many followers I have) and theyre all like... 'yay, be vegan, youre saving the planet and fish have feelings' and blah blah. I'm like, but... but...but... SUSHI!

So then, one of these people decided to send me a vegan starter pack. From the UK.

I don't know exactly what this entails but now, like... I HAVE to commit cos this girl is sending me a bloody starter pack.

Anyway, I'm warming to the idea cos I've been trailing the net trying to find recipes that would excite me (no, that's not my cynical look, its my new vegan 'I-Don't-Eat-Anything-That-Had-A-Face-Or-Parents look.)

But also, I have to just say, I'm not really doing this to save the world or whatever. I just saw this Oprah programme where these 64 year old ex models look like they're 16. So mainly its for vain reasons. I reckon I could drop like 20kgs in like, erm... a year. Or whatever.

Which is why, I'm not going to be super strict on myself. I might be a vegan who eats sushi and chocolate. And all the hard core vegans out there can go suck on a lemon.

Sleeping awake

Ive been having trouble sleeping lately which leaves me completely useless the rest of the day...

And the thing is...each day I look forward to teh weekend cos i reckon, I can make up for sleep lost on the weekend - but I dont think SLEEP works like that... you cant bank it or withdraw it for later on.

Either you rest or you dont

The problem is slightly stressed by my whiplash injuries (2) which means, the muscles in my neck used to keep my head up - are so tight that the shoulder muscles comepensate... which means THEYVE worked so hard that now, my middle and lower nack muscles are only keeping me errect. but actually - itys your core - tummy muslces that ACTUALLY are meant to keep you errect... which means that now I have flabby tummy muscles...:-P

So generally, I'm knackered...:-P

I am not coping today...*yawn*

I've just googled an NHS chiro in my area - so we'll see how that goes. Although I'm slight SCARED of doctors here cos they're so REMOVED / DISTANT from their patients...

but I guess I'll have to...desperate at this point...
:(

baby beauty queens

Saw this doccie last night about child beauty queens.

Heaviness.

Talk about sexualising girls at a younge age. These babies - as young as 7! Getting fake tan, their eyebrows shaped etc...

I have issue with this purely based on the fact that these girls are being brainwashed into believing that tehy're only 'good' if people think they're pretty. Doesnt really matter what they DO / FEEL / CONTRIBUTE to society. Its all about looks.

And of course, that in itself presents a myriad of dangerous effects:

If they DONT win (and lets face it, there are at least 20 girls all competing at the same time, they cant all win), then that means theyre UGLIER than other people (process of elimination right?)

and it also means that whatever they have (hair, skin, looks generally) is ugly.

They have their whole TEENAGE life to have all that angst...

anyway, my point is... how do these girls even KNOW about 'sexy poses' at 7, 8 or 9???

And how messed up are their mums that they subject them to all that. And of course, the mums will say they dont force them to do anything. If they want to get out, they can... they dont have to do anything they dont want to...

But then theres the passive co-ersion. Let's be serious.

Whatever happened to playing hopscotch in the streets with the kids in the neighbourhood... okay im dangerously close to...'in my day'

but seriously... theres too much emphasis on looks... they get it from everywhere.

which is why i decided that i wont have my kids spend all their time with Nanny TV.

they'll have 1 or 2 hours a day.

which, according to my sister, is another kind of abuse!

anyway, thats my rant of the day..

out...

VOOT-VOOT

i just saw that Halls UFO ad...

Its FRAKKIN funny! I those coloured ou's 'it made a sound like VOOT-VOOT' and then 'She vloeked them WEG my bru!'

Made me MISS Cape Town so much! And those black aunties... 'and it opened my throat so I can talk nice'

BRILLIANT!

And I was just thinking. What if that REALLY happened in Cape Town...

Firstly, it would probably land in the middle of the stadium. Cos thats the biggest bit of open land so I guess its only logical. But you know, I'd be pretty pissed off cos what about those ridiculous parking rates... i doubt the aliens had time to change currency... :-P

And I'm sure there wont be any 'unofficial car guards'. I mean, basically, its protection money. They are not EMPLOYED by anyone. They're loiterers who guilt or otherwise INFLUENCE you to dosh out YOUR hard-earned cash on them, based simply on the fact that they're THERE...

I know people who hand over the money cos they feel sorry for them or because they dont want them to break into their cars.

Am I the only one who sees a flaw in this logic? So the POSSIBILITY of a R5 is enough for this dude to go...' you know what those wheels / cd's / *insert valuable* in that car are probably not worth the R5 that sucker's gonna pay me when they've finished buying their shopping...'

Erm. No.

As far as I know, we all pay taxes. Which, in turn, pays for our (inefficeint but still active) policy force and traffic officers, who, on a good day, should be patrolling and DETERRING such undesireable behaviour... no?

And even if they DO break into your car, you can't actually hold them responsible can you? you cant be like... 'okay so my wheels are gone, which means I'm NOT going to give you ANY money. Arent you sorry now?!'.

Anyway, I digress...

You'd probably get all these random people claiming to have seen the thing land - and then being interviewed on eTV.

Witness: 'Ney I saw this thing and I tol' myself, ney man, thats mos not a normal plane, cos why I never saw a Kalula or Mengo chappie or nothing. So I told my motchie, dets a UFO but she just laav en say I'm keeping me clever agen'.

Which is probably why they set the new Peter Jackson movie in JOHANNESBERG not Cape Town called District 9!

A full length film set in JHB about aliens who invade JHB. Produced / co directed by Peter Jackson - of Lord of the Rings fame.

I've seen the trailer and its pretty cool cos it draws on alot of parallels between the whole segregation thing. The aliens have to live in 'informal settlements' in demarcated areas in JHB and there are 'humans only' areas within the city and the aliens are not permitted to congregate in groups etc.

Anyway I'm looking forward to it. My friend was like: 'its gonna put SA on the map'
Im like.. SA IS on the map - its at the bottom of Africa...